Rainy days and 2 cups of coffee

Inspiration is a funny thing.

I feel like if I could just bottle it up and keep it for a rainy day, or maybe even sell it, I would be all set.

It comes and it goes with no parade or grand entrance and then leaves just as silently.

Today it was here in full force. Yesterday - not so much. In fact, it wasn't even there in the slightest bit, not even for one second of the day. I am almost afraid to go to sleep in the fear that when I wake it will be gone again...

Job hunting is both exciting and disheartening all at the same time. It's exciting by the token that I can start over in a new place, meet new people and spice up my resume but also frightening while I'm stuck in unemployment limbo, my bills and living expenses up in the air.

Well here goes nothing, let's hope I will see inspiration's sunny face again tomorrow.

Misplaced Journalist...

Gone are the days of the hard working, loyal and permanent employees of generations past.

Not that today's employees aren't hard working, it's just that no matter how much you care about a company or the work that you do, there are hundreds of people who can do the same job, and unfortunately this is what most businesses seem to think as well.

The stories of our grandparents and their jobs, no matter how technical or basic, seemed to deal around a similar concept - loyalty. This loyalty went both ways - as an employee you worked your hardest for your company and employers honored and even rewarded this loyalty with job security and benefits.

Currently, and rather suddenly, I find myself unemployed and while I really have no hard feelings when it comes to the company that laid me off, it's still a tough thing to come to grips with. In my case, it was due to a budget cut but the bottom line is this. Job security is not what it once was.

I have read countless things saying just this, but until experiencing it first hand, I guess I didn't fully grasp this concept. Maybe it's even harder to be let go from a job when you did nothing wrong - it sort of feels like when your significant other looks you in the eye and says "it's not you, it's me," - worst feeling EVER.

In the days since losing my job, I can't even guess the number of times people have asked me "so what is your passion?," "what are your particular skills?" These should be easy questions to answer right?

In a way, I feel like my childhood horse, Flame, who my family bought for "meat price" a mere $750. He was an amazing versatile horse who would sometimes put up a fight when we introduced him to new things, like pulling a cart for example, but he adapted quickly and soon became proficient in a large number of things. But when it came down to it, as much as we loved him he wasn't really great at anything.

Sometimes I feel like this.

I can wear many hats, I can eventually fit into a number of situations but what am I "passionate" about what "skills" do I have that set me apart from the countless numbers of my unemployed peers?

I guess while searching for a new and exciting career beginning (or perhaps continuation?), I will hopefully find my niche. You can look at the good or look at the bad in everything and maybe just maybe this is my time to find my place, my passion and a secure place to enrich these things.

"Without the sour, the sweet just ain't as sweet."

In Transition...Again

Moving probably rates near the top of the list of things I completely hate to do...Not like moving as in not standing still (that would be awfully lazy, though sometimes that does apply too...) I am talking about the kind of moving that requires picking up all your belongings and dragging them over to a totally new place. Ugh the worst.

Now doing this in Arizona poses it's own set of challenges. After living here for 6 or 7 years now (I've decided to stop counting) I have moved 6 times...All but maybe one of these moves have taken place in the dead of summer and typically under massive emotional duress-break-ups and the like. Now, no matter what you may have heard about Arizona being a "dry heat" it doesn't really matter what kind of heat it is, it's HOT - plain and simple. Try sticking you head in a 120 degree oven (okay don't really try it) you'll get the idea.

That being said, I have one thing to be grateful for this time...I am moving in January. Thank God. (And there is no real emotional crisis this time..phew)

So once again I find myself in transition...not yet in my new home and not really in my old one. Even though I am moving no more than 20 miles away it feels like a a huge change. (I mean where will I ever find another Starbucks, Cheers-like dive bar -where everyone really does know my name-and Whole Foods within blocks of my house??)

I guess in the miles from here to there I will find new coffee shops and new dive bars to call my own. While the memories I have at my normal hangouts are a mix of good and bad, I guess I am ready to form some new memories in new places (and drive back to my old ones now and again).

Here's to another adventure....

A Writer's Quandary

So I guess it is about time that I actually created my own blog.

I'm not really sure why I have been against this whole idea for so long - kind of weird when you think about it, seeing as how I call myself a "writer" and all. I guess maybe it's because as a writer I feel obliged to shun any type of writing that doesn't actually appear on a tangible material - and by that I mean something in actual print - the type that smudges straight off the old-school printer -a book, newspaper..well pretty much any one of the materials that have been housing the work of writers throughout time - up to this point at least.

I understand that you can certainly argue that a computer is tangible too, and I can't really develop a great argument for that, other than to say - no matter what many people believe about the future of books and writing, you will not see me cuddling up with my computer, or any other electronic device, to read a book anytime soon. End of story-I even love the way old books smell and old bookstores are just the best - you can get lost in them for hours. I definitely could never get that same great sense of nostalgia while browsing a swap meet for second-hand computers..

On the other hand, I ask myself numerous times a day how writers could ever get things done in the days before the Internet. My job requires writing all day and for every assignment I work on, it seems that I am using Google just as often as I am actually writing.

Hmmm so what conclusion can I come to? I guess I am a bit of a technological hypocrite and feel somewhat like a 70 year-old saying something old-manish like 'these darn kids today..' But like the all-knowing Bob Dylan once said -"The times they are a-changing.."